I figured we should start a new thread considering the serious nature of the threat we face.
For those of you who don't know, the Evil Horde of Penguins (EHoP) has announced their plans to launch a campaign of squaking, aquatic terror in the effort to take over the world.
Panic has already errupted amongst the masses of those people living closest to the Antartic Continent. The government has issued a...
There is also the enigmatic and mysterious Dancing Llama group. No one has ever been able to determine what these shaggy quaprapeds want exactly. Every agent sent by the various governments of the world to ascertain the goals of this group have never returned to make their report.
With the growing threat to national security in the form of multiple, various terrorist groups, the United States and several other nations have announced that they will no longer accept that answer and have vowed to get to the bottom of this scoiety's goals and...
While there has been no direct link between the EHoP and Dancing Llamas, there has been a suspicious decline in activity amongst the known members of the Dancing Llamas group. Some have even forgone their annual "Spring Shearing Festival" where they shave their wool coats off in preparation for the coming summer and make coats and other weave products to be sold on the black market (a "Dancing Llama" parka is valued at approximately $50,000.00).
We are still trying to gather intelligence to determine if there is a link between the two, but have discovered a weakness in the EhoP military forces; they have not been properly prepared to deal with a spork-wielding assailant. Preliminary reports suggest that EhoP militiamen have suffered terrible losses at the hands of rebel forces trained to properly handle a spork in deadly combat.
At the moment, the EhoP and the U.N. are engaged in a stalemate; neither one is willing to make the first move and tip his hand.