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The Ehop And Dancing Llama Societies...


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#31 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 06:04 AM

agent slain of tomb, operative 282, what type of mental link are we talking about?? Telepathy... or even telekinesis??

Also, has anyone gathered any information about the DL (dancing Llama) headquarters? I might do a solo mission to there soon. My head feels much better, and my wits are sharpening. I have had no contact with Lord, so I do not know if I am 100% immune to his... methods.

I warn you now, not only are you not classified to access the Morpheus Project data files (I had to hack in, and it might cost me my life, depending on what Aaron 1339 says), but the serum is too potent for humans, it has not been perfected or even improved. I do not know how many "subject" there were in total, but I was 002. Do you want people to go through what I did, or worse??

remember...

QUOTE(Morpheus Files @ classified sigma)
Test subject 002, formerly ------ etile, still being tested on. Major side effects have incl---, but not limited to: mental instability, -------, --------, schizophrenia, -------, -------, etc. Soldier deemed to unstable for futher study, it shall be terminated, the ELIXER refined


As for rat racer 550: who do you report to? where did you get your information? We shall not be involved in shady business. Even if the AIIA didn't start out clean, we are righteous now. Hand over the information now, or give the world over to darkness. Even if the information could help us, I doubt giving it to the EHoP will help.

#32 rat racer550

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 06:44 AM

cry_smile.gif your words... they have touched my heart. all right. i will settle for a coke coke8.gif yummm. ok i will talk.

they do not call me rat racer550 for nothing. I have trained and raced rats for my whole life. My most faithful rat, niblers, ran to the antactic and broght back with him the secret to the EHoP's downfall. TEHABs: Technalogically Enhanced Hot Air Blasters. Hair dryers that have been tweeked to relese blasts of heat and melt the ice right under the those penguins. penguins are used to cold weather. if they overheat, they will be defeated. i have just completed the prototype, it might take a while to have enough to defeat all the penguins. i must go now and finish the rest. can i now consider myself on the team? well, anyway...

-This is Dr. Rat, signing out.-

#33 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 07:02 AM

Thank you for your co-operation. You have made things a lot smoother, and less painful. How long ago did niblers do his reconnaissance? Because I suspect that their mysterious alliance with the DL (dancing llamas) was to gain access to new, hotter terrains to train in. In that case, that weapon may have lost its egde.

As far as "joining the team" we'll talk to Aaron, and we'll see how far into the rabbit hole you can go. If you're in, then we can outfit you with a team of scientists to complete and produce your new weapon.

#34 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 07:13 AM

I got a pm from Lord and there was this telepathic circle things that kept spinning as i became glued to it with my eyes i suddly forgot everythings and woke up lieing on my beb not knowing who i am, I came to this forum and read my previous post about lord being a suspect to brain washing, then i realized that while i was captured by the Ehop i must of had information that Lord did not want me to know so he brain washed me to forget everyhing. I also have had sudden urges for beer and coke sense then too. coke8.gif beer.gif

#35 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 07:29 AM

hmm.... this is starting to worry me. do you listen to a perfect circle? maybe you should. read the above stuff.

I mention it again, though, right now, Lord cannot be touched.

#36 Aaron1339

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 08:33 AM

AIIA headquarters apologizes for the lateness of the release of the following documentation despite our previous indication that its contents would be made available to all interested parties.

ASH file #001
QUOTE(Information taken from head agent Lord (operative 001) personal journal)
January 28th, 1991: Yes!  I have done it!
It has taken me years to do it, but I have finally managed to get my personal team of subordinates into the CIA and FBI!  My master scheme of global domination is so close to its completion! (Pages of scribbled "hahaha" follows)
---
August 19th, 1995: I can't believe my run of good luck!  My operatives on the CIA and FBI have gained such recognition and prestige, that they are being commended as the finest agents their collective fields.
Since every one of them has given credit to me the government has asked me to start a new, covert intelligence agency!
I think this calls for a drink.
---
August 20th, 1995: I can't remember the last time I had such a night.  I must remember to investigate further the hidden, untapped powers of beer.
---
March 22nd, 1996: My baby has just been born!
After months of planning and building and scheming, my beautiful AIIA has been born!
(Why did that @#%!$^ senate make me name MY agency after some producer?! I need a beer!)
---
October 18th, 2000: I think maybe my plans for global domination are being foiled.  Curiously enough, it is not intentional.  I have all the resources at my disposal.  I have the power.  I have the means.  All I need to do is initiate my final command and it will be done.
My operatives are positioned at every key point necessary to complete my plan of global domination.  Yet I hesitate to issue that command.
---
December 24th, 2000: Merry !$%@$%@%@!$@% Christmas to me...
Why did I have to be so !$%@%!$%@!@% weak...  I mean, I could've had !$%@%!$%@% anything!
And yet I find myself finding !$%@%!$%@% satisfaction in !$%@% saving this miserable country from anhialation, over and over.
!$%@%!$%@%  Where's my bottle!  !$%@% penguins must've taken it.  Oh well.  I'm smashed enough to watch the llam....(entry remains uncomplete as the pen made a giant mark to the end of the page)
---
January 16th, 2001: Something is not right.  I feel something... evil inside me.  As if another personality is waiting for me to slip so that he can take control.  Already when I am near the point of exhaustion, I feel the urge to issue the "Final Code" to my agents.
It only with sheer willpower that I supress that desire.  I must maintain absolu... (the rest of the entry is complete, undecipherable gibberish)
---
May 4th, 2001: I have set my best research agents on this assignement.  It is the most classified project we have ever undertaken.  One so classified that only 7 men know anything aout it at all.  And 2 of those men, godwilling, are me.
---
(All entries from May 5th to September 28th, 2001 are complete gibberish)
---
September 29th, 2001: I need a beer
---
(All entries from September 30th to December 18th, 2001 are complete gibberish)
---
December 19th, 2001: Success!
Does my good fortune know no bounds?  I have succeeded where the experts said I would fail.  Where none had faith, I believed in the abilities of my 5 research agents.
Unfortunately, the entire process of researching, developing, and executing the process to divide my 2 separate personalities into 2 different bodies succeeding in driving every single one of the agents completely mad and now they are only good for running that gigantic hamsterwheel that powers AIIA headquarters.
My "brother" has been shipped off to god only knows where.  I do not want to know anything about him from this point on as I cannot acknowedge any link between he and I.  To do so may drive us both to the brink of madness.  Even this journal must be destroyed or put away somewhere that I cannot lay eyes on it ever again.
My only hope is that the process of separation left him as drained as I and that he will not remember the labors I had once undertaken as part of his evil ambition. I... I... I must put this journal away and never look upon it again!
---
(There are no more entries)


As you can see, gentlemen, the Lord sighted in the Antartic is not the Lord currently in command at AIIA. However, to confront him with this information could very well destroy him.
In light of these developments, AIIA has enterred stage "Zulu-Omega-Epsilon". Lord has stepped down from command of AIIA and will be taking an extended leave of absence until this situation is resolved. As to his plans while on leave, please do not partake of any office rumors. We all know of Lord's status as a loving husband and would never consider vacationing in Guam.
(Well he might consider it, but then his wife might consider eliminating him - I hear she is one of AIIA's top assassins...)

-------------------------

Official AIIA Report:
AIIA is pleased to hear about the rescue of its missing agent and is also pleased to report that the situation in the North Pole may be coming to a resolution.
The surrender demand has been accepted and we are currently engaged in negotiating the conditions of that surrender. Already the enemy forces have ceased firing on the AIIA agents surrounding the base (which is good because some of those toys can really harm a soldier when launched by a water-balloon launcher).
Also, the best news of all, AIIA would like to take a moment to congratulate one of our agents (we cannot identify him at this time) on the successful completion of a rescue mission (which did not really happen since the capture took place somewhere that we never really were). The agent was able to extract one of our other agents (we cannot identify him, either, at this time) with no harm to either one of the operatives (which is good because since it never happened, we would be hard pressed to explain anything regarding any kid of injuries).

#37 Aaron1339

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 08:53 AM

Coded message sent to agents etile (#028), tzobell (#798), and Slain_Of_Tomb (#252)
QUOTE
Congratulations and welcome home, tzobell.
AIIA command is pleased with these recent developments and the rescue of our agent tzobell.
As for the status of the individual identified as "Rat Racer550" (RR550) in your reports, we still do not feel comfortable making him an agent of AIIA and giving him access to all of our resources.
The TEHABs currently being researched by RR550 are in truth, old technology.  Back in the year 2000, the Russian government developed a TEHAB of their own to battle an invasion of aggressive penguins.  No link has ever been established between the EHoP we currently face and the penguins that attacked Russia, but it was discoverred (almost too late) that the first wave of attackers were the only ones susceptible to the heat waves of the TEHABs.
The more advanced of the penguin attackers were able to ignore the heat waves of the TEHAB just as easily as they ignore the frigid waters of the Antartic Ocean.  Their protective tuxedo's have more defensive qualities than anyone can imagine.
"They have class.  They have power".
It was the Russians who first discoverred the awesome offensive capabilities of the plastic spork and it is because of their devastating combat powers first demonstrated in the defense of Russia that AIIA has made the plastic spork a standard issue for every agent.
And to make RR550 an AIIA agent would be to hand him a spork.  And we cannot hand a man a spork until we can know for certain that he will not relinquish said spork to an enemy.


#38 Aaron1339

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 08:57 AM

Coded message sent to agents etile (#028), tzobell (#798), and Slain_Of_Tomb (#252)
QUOTE
AIIA has considerred the matter regarding RR550 further...
Since you three agents are the only field operatives left that are not currently engaged in the mission at the North Pole, AIIA is asking for one of you three to volunteer to keep watch over RR550.
AIIA is willing to "deputize" RR550 and make him a "temporary agent" with "limited access" to AIIA resources.  But we are only willing to do this provided he is kept under close surveilance at all times.
He is not, we repeat, NOT to be issued a spork until AIIA has determined his loyalties to be sound.

Any volunteers?


#39 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 20 July 2003 - 09:20 AM

QUOTE
AIIA has sent out agen tzobell and new temporary agent RR550 on the demiltion of the lord who is responsible for the brain washing of agent tzobell and agent slain of tomb. His whereabouts are being kept sercret in fear that Others will come to defend him. We Have also sent agent Slain of tomb to the NDBWA(national de-brain washing asosiation) to give therapy who have been mentaly dammaged by the EL (evil Lord). We have had much secsess in this process and hope we can put an end to EL.


#40 Aaron1339

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 12:52 AM

Official AIIA Report

AIIA is pleased to report success on our operation in the North Pole. The enemy leader, San "da" Claws, has accepted our terms of surrender and disarmament of the North Pole is underway.

----------------------

ASH file #10987 - Documentation Regarding AIIA's Assault on the North Pole
QUOTE
Acting on an anonymous tip that EHoP and their ELF has managed to infiltrate the Artic North Pole, AIIA launched a massive assault against the Artic.
Unfortunately, even though AIIA met with success, the information turned out only to be a trick.  The purpose of this scam is still unknown to AIIA.
The leader of the North Pole occupants, one San "da" Claws, finally surrenderred after only a couple days of his main base being held under seige.  Thorough inspection of the base revealed much about other events around the globe, but absolutley nothing about the EHoP and the Dancing Llamas.
Despite his obvious distress over losing many of his personell, San "da" Claws was remarkable cooperative and even answerred many of our questions while under polygraph (lie detector).  His denial about any connection to the EHoP and the Dancing Llamas registerred as the truth.
Curiously enough, San "da" claws did offer some information regarding the two societies, cryptic though they may be.  Perhaps after some deciphering, a code may be found in the message and more information can be garnerred.
He said simply; "The EHoP is on my 'bad' list and the Dancing Llamas are on my 'good' list."

Regarding the experimental aircraft spotted by AIIA satellites, the AIIA has determined those images to be "ghosts".  No aircraft of any kind were discoverred in what remained of the base.  The only thing left other than minature men was a team of sled-pulling reindeer.

One interesting thing discoverred in the wreckage of one of the warehouses surrounding San "da" Claws's headquarters was a massive supply of chemical and biological weapons.  AIIA estimates that half of the arms that were supposed to be in Iraq (and should have been discoverred by coalition forces) have found their way to the North Pole.
It is likely that the discovery of this weapons cache and the d#@$ing evidence this is against San "da" Claws and his entire outfit is what convinved San "da" Claws to be so cooperative; even though he refuses to answer any questions as to how the weapons actually managed to get all the way away from Iraq.
Unfortunately, AIIA does not have the time or energy to investigate the matter further.  The weapons have been seized and are currently undergoing "conversion" (they will be made into popcorn and cotton candy machines) and San "da" Claws has been warned to keep his activities clean.  Considerring his (admitted) record for breaking and enterring, AIIA will soon have plenty of reasons to arrest this criminal once the EHoP situation has been dealt with.


----------------------------

Coded message sent to all agents not engaged in the North Pole:
QUOTE
AIIA has completed its operation in the North Pole and is currently in the process of pulling our forces back out.  Despite the relative ease and speed with which AIIA was able to pull every agent in from all over the globe and mobilize them against the North Pole (approximately 20 hours), disengagement will take much longer (approximately 30 days).
Hopefully, the EHoP will not make any moves durring that time.  You must be extra vigilant durring this time and ensure that no EHoP or ELF operatives escape our watchful eye.
Keep your sporks sharp.


#41 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 02:29 AM

Official AIIA report.

AIIA is discorages about the two comonly confuses suspects- Lord and EL (Eivil Lord)

QUOTE
As Agent Tzobell and temporary agent RR550 headed out to the head quarters of El after pulling a strain of hair as El ran off to his jet and flew away, a DNA stest in an official AIIA labretory confirmed that EL and lord had the same DNA sequence. Yet IT is impossible that the commander of AIIA could have been at EL's headquarters. Days later after some geneolgy research we confirmed that EL is AIIA comanders twin brother. After that we moved Lord from commander to Vice president of AIIA and have taken him into custody to question him about any relationship he might have with his brother EL. It was confermed after manny Lie detecting test that he is in no way affiliated with his brother. Yet there is suspission that his brother "EL" might have brain washed him to forget all information about EL. But this is highly unlikly. We have now moved Lord back to commander of AIIA. We are the look out for El to be impersinating lord. There are manny things to suggest that have happened (AIIA will not release exactly what happened do to AIIA commanders request) that El has impersinated Lord numorus times.


#42 rat racer550

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 03:26 AM

after agent tzoell had tested ELs DNA, i had niblers run back to my lab and get my secret weapon ready.

coded message sent to all AIIA members:

QUOTE
my secret weapon is almost complete, all we need now is the fuel, which is alchohol!!!! But, oh no, this is terrible!!! the beer, it has all disapered!!! no! we need  that beer!! EL must know our plans!!! He stole it!!!! AHHHHHGGG!!!! My robots!!! sabataged!!!!! destroyed!!! EEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! niblers!!!!! he is..... DEAD!!!!! NOOO!!! I'LL GET THAT EL IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!!!! I MUST AVENGE NIBLERS!!!!!!


#43 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 06:31 AM

damn, i leave for a bit and come back to all of this.

First of all, Aaron, since you have a higher clearance than me, could you look up all information on the "Morpheus Project." The classification is to high for me to hack... I mean, access. Yeah. I need to know more about my past, yo.
Also, does the culprit in the North have any affiliation with EL? And I still need any hints as to the dancing llamas' headquarters.

As for RR550, give us the schematics and we might be able to help you out. Also, try to recover as much genetic material from your friend, niblers. I have a 5th grade cloning project that might be modified to help ressurect him. As for the fuel for your robots...

beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif
beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif beer.gif

#44 rat racer550

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 03:57 PM

this gives me an idea.... we take niblers DNA and make hundereds of coppies!!! We could have a nibler army at the disposal of the AIIA!! and i thank you for the feul!!! but the robots were all destroyed, my lab was a wreck. They were human robots, but a managed to turn the DNA inside out, so i made super fat robots with an I.Q of 3, fueled on beer. fat people cant move well, 3 is a low number, and beer is a depressant, but with the reversed DNA, they are super-quick, super-strong, super-smart, and never get tired. once we find out EL, EHop, and DL's weaknesses, we can can have a little help in pulling it off.

#45 Slain_Of_Tomb

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Posted 21 July 2003 - 04:14 PM

I have found a piece of paper outside of EL labs...

QUOTE
He's at Hogwarts, he's at hogwarts...(goes on for 3 more pages)





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