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Female keywords to look out for


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#16 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 06 June 2003 - 01:59 AM

i think men use some of those same thing but not all. Men use the "5 minutes", when there on the computer. And the "thank a lot" but other than those two all the other are just the women.

#17 Lord

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Posted 03 January 2004 - 08:11 PM

this joke should be pinned w00t.gif

#18 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 04 January 2004 - 06:07 AM

i was thinking... for a while, however of a shock that would be.

i figured that if i ever had a son, i should have a couple of things ready when he is born:

1. buy him a couple of wine bottles. some will be made at his birthday, and others will be older. that way, he'll always have an older brother he can go to.

2. start him a ROTH IRA account, or whatever they are called, right at birth

3. have a little book, with all of the really helpful knowlegde that i have aquired throughout my years, like this thread, and that other one.

4. be prepared to teach him how to play final fantasy as soon as he can see straight.

5. give him pepsi. lots of pepsi.


hopefully, with all of this, he will grow up to lead a healthy life... right?

#19 renegade_fighta

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Posted 13 January 2004 - 06:30 AM

...interesting sleep.gif

#20 renegade_fighta

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Posted 13 January 2004 - 06:32 AM

...interesting sleep.gif

#21 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 13 January 2004 - 07:15 AM

QUOTE(etile @ Jan 3 2004, 08:07 PM)
i was thinking... for a while, however of a shock that would be.

i figured that if i ever had a son, i should have a couple of things ready when he is born:

1. buy him a couple of wine bottles. some will be made at his birthday, and others will be older. that way, he'll always have an older brother he can go to.

2. start him a ROTH IRA account, or whatever they are called, right at birth

3. have a little book, with all of the really helpful knowlegde that i have aquired throughout my years, like this thread, and that other one.

4. be prepared to teach him how to play final fantasy as soon as he can see straight.

5. give him pepsi. lots of pepsi.


hopefully, with all of this, he will grow up to lead a healthy life... right?

etile, lets just take a step back and look at what ur doing. your going to give him wine, pepsi, and video games. I think your son is going to end up very fat. And whats up with final fantsy, what happened to the beloved tekken.

#22 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 15 January 2004 - 02:44 AM

hey, we will exercise... or something?

oh, and tekken doesn't have... TIFA!!!!

#23 ReturnedFromHell

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Posted 24 January 2004 - 08:11 PM

QUOTE(Lord @ Sep 26 2002, 07:20 AM)
Female keywords, and their meanings
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)


2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
 
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
 
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine".
 
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
> > >This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"!
 
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
 
8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead", sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

I agree with this keywords  laugh.gif

Lord, that is definatly a true conversation. My girlfriend sometimes say those exact same words and it's details are definatly what people aren't really looking for.

#24 lil_nelly

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Posted 25 January 2004 - 05:59 AM

hey get this if u think your wife is tuff meet my gf.she says if i ever cheat on her my d**k will never see a hole again.isn't that mean. cry_smile.gif cry_smile.gif cry_smile.gif











matrix.gif

#25 Shinobi_Artist

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Posted 10 February 2004 - 06:35 AM

Thats just sad dude. I haved learned much from the great wisdom of Lord. I didnt know of the light and loud sigh or the "oh" sentence. Thanks to Lord I will live a whole 2 years longer

#26 Metal Head

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Posted 11 April 2004 - 04:57 PM

Damn You Must Of Had Alot Of Expereince To Undastand The Female Mind And Alot Of ''5min'' Discusions! all true of course

#27 GreenGirl

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Posted 11 April 2004 - 08:31 PM

QUOTE(Lord @ Sep 26 2002, 10:20 AM)
Female keywords, and their meanings
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)


2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
 
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
 
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine".
 
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
> > >This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"!
 
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
 
8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead", sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

I agree with this keywords  laugh.gif

that doesnt apply to me, a man lies to me they get a punch in the gut and a beating with a baseball bat icon_twisted.gif

#28 Duff man

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Posted 11 April 2004 - 11:07 PM

QUOTE(etile @ Jan 4 2004, 06:07 AM)
i was thinking... for a while, however of a shock that would be.

i figured that if i ever had a son, i should have a couple of things ready when he is born:

1. buy him a couple of wine bottles. some will be made at his birthday, and others will be older. that way, he'll always have an older brother he can go to.

2. start him a ROTH IRA account, or whatever they are called, right at birth

3. have a little book, with all of the really helpful knowlegde that i have aquired throughout my years, like this thread, and that other one.

4. be prepared to teach him how to play final fantasy as soon as he can see straight.

5. give him pepsi. lots of pepsi.


hopefully, with all of this, he will grow up to lead a healthy life... right?

erm etile u missied teaching ur kid aboat tifa or does that come into final fantasy?


and paine ur just meen i think wink_smile.gif

but funny

#29 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 23 April 2004 - 01:54 AM

QUOTE(Lord @ Sep 26 2002, 04:20 AM)
Female keywords, and their meanings
1. "Fine"
This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks.
This will cause you to have one of those arguments.)


2. "Five minutes"
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.
 
3. "Nothing"
"Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
 
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows)
This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute" discussion that will end with the word "Fine".
 
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows)
> > >This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh"
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"!
 
7. "Soft Sigh"
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.
 
8. "Oh"
This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead", sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

9. "That's Okay"
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do"
This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

11. "Thanks"
The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot"
"Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks". A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

I agree with this keywords  laugh.gif

lmao...all of it is very true...very true yes.gif

#30 dragonmatt5

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Posted 24 August 2004 - 07:12 PM

Very funny!! I laft my @ss off. Please post more. And ladies please don't hurt me!!




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