The Ehop And Dancing Llama Societies...
Posted 21 July 2003 - 07:29 PM
Posted 21 July 2003 - 10:28 PM
coded message sent to all AIIA members:
i fear that this act of crulity is from the brain washing od EL.
Official AIIA report
Posted 21 July 2003 - 10:40 PM
Official AIIA And Mistery of magcic Report
Posted 21 July 2003 - 10:59 PM
Posted 22 July 2003 - 12:43 AM
Hey, and EL is bad. bad is bad, good is good. bad, bad. good good (thumb wars).
Ratracer, have you listened to the anit-rainwashing song? it helped me, it can help you.
Posted 22 July 2003 - 01:48 AM
i think im back, but i dont know for how long, listen! strap me to a chair and force me to listen to that song!!!! i dont think ive just been brainwashed, i think im being possesed!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! EL good, EL good, EL good... (continues for several hours)
Posted 22 July 2003 - 04:13 AM
RR: where, where?? EL good!
etile: he's invisible, you can only see him if you sit down, and let me strap you down and make ou listen to Magdalena, by a perfect circle.
RR: sounds like a trap! no way!! by the way, i like EL!!!
RR ok, me sit down.
etile: *straps him down
puts music ON
so pure so rare to witness such an earthly goddess that i've lost my self control beyond compelled to throw this dollar down
before your holiest of altars
i'd sell my soul my self esteem a dollar at a time for one chance one kiss one taste of you my magdalena
i bear witness to this place this prayer so long forgotten so pure so rare to witness such an earthly goddess that i'd sell my soul my self esteem a dollar at a time for one chance one kiss one taste of you my black madonna
i'd sell my soul my self esteem a dollar at a time one taste one taste one taste of you my magdalena
RR: I feel, lighter, so free! EL, im free of you, but... for how long??
Posted 22 July 2003 - 04:51 AM
Posted 22 July 2003 - 08:39 AM
I have been monitoring transmissions to and from AIIA headquarters and have done some "investigating" into AIIA's database for more information regarding the "Morpheus Project":
[END OF RETRIEVED DATA]
This entry is a forgery!
No other files in the AIIA database has suffered this kind of corruption and does not have an ASH file # associated with it. Since the ASH file system was initiated after the Lord/Evil Lord Division, and this file was enterred using Lord's own access code, I believe that the file entry was in truth done by Evil Lord.
I located another of these files within the mainframe that contained more information regarding the actual production of the "ELIXER". Suspiciously, this file did not suffer the same kind of corruption. I feel that this is no coincidence and that these files are, in truth, a trap.
My other attentions have been focused at the Dancing Llamas. I do not believe this group to be any threat. Their numbers are not actually as large as AIIA originally believed. Where we first thought their numbers were around 500,000. In fact, the Dancing Llamas only have about 10,000 members. They just move around so fast that we were overcounting.
They not only preach a doctrine of peace, but appear to practice one as well. I managed to infiltrate one of the EHoP bases while a Dancing Llama envoy was visting. The course of the meeting between the EHoP and Dancing Llamas consisted mainly of the Dancing Llamas members trying to convince the EHoP to disarm their ELF and give up their quest for global domination.
I repeat, the Dancing Llamas pose no threat to global/national security. I recommend that AIIA focus on the EHoP (and Evil Lord).
Posted 22 July 2003 - 08:47 AM
please send me any information related to the Morpheus Project, if possible. Also, I might be able to prove that those files are legitamate, if I can find any of the other test subjects. If the files are right, there is at least one more. And send some scientists to look into the DNA of the EHoP penguins corpse. By studying the DNA, we can find out if it has been tinkered in any way. I hope you look into this ASAP, I know that my... "instabilities," had to have come from some sort of AIIA project. What precious little of my memory that i have left cannot be a lie. Can it?
Posted 22 July 2003 - 05:42 PM
I am sorry, agent etile. From what I have been able to dig up in AIIA's database mainframe, your current "condition" is not the result of any AIIA experiments. There are no ASH file #s attached to the files in question and there should be much more documentation regarding the experiment if it were really an AIIA operation.
Again, I have to believe that those files were placed there by Evil Lord as bait.
However, I do know a little something about your past. Even though this is a direct violation of AIIA's orders and I very well could be charge with insubordination for releaseing this information, I believe the time is right for you to learn the truth of your past.
I doubt that you will remember EHoP's first attempt at global domination, but they invaded Russia several years ago. They would have succeeded had the Russians not discoverred the combat abilities of the spork.
The reason I'm telling you about this is because you are the one who discoverred it.
ELF forces had captured you and taken you prisoner to their Antartic base where Evil Lord conducted many genetic experiments on you. While some of them were a success, the majority of the experiments were a resounding failure. I believe you underwent 27 failed genetic experiments - and you have 27 other personalities in that head of yours (do the math).
The reason I believe this is because I read several documents to that effect while infiltrating EHoP's base. My mission was to try and find out who was behind the EHoP assault against Russia. The penguins had always been hostile before, but they had never tried invading another country. Imagine my suprise when I found Evil Lord heading a meeting of ELF generals.
The genetic experiments that Evil Lord was able to successfully complete on you were duplicated on the EHoP.
I found you completely by accident. I was lead to believe by the documents I discoverred that you had been killed. Imagine my suprise when your "corpse" suddenly sprang to life and snatched my standard issued plastic spork (back then they were only used to aid in the devouring of AIIA field rations) from its place at my belt.
Before I realized what was happening, you had already burst from your enclosure and begun to cut a swath of penguin destruction through the ranks of the suprised EHoP and their ELF. The penguins did not have enough warning time to organize themselves properly to prevent your escape.
When Evil Lord was informed of your escape (I was forced to remain inside the EHoP base for a time because of the heightened security caused by your escape), he just laughed and said, "Don't worry. I still have plans for that one. He may be of use to me on the outside."
Three days later, I found you lying unconscious on the frozen ground. How you managed to survive the frigid cold escapes me (I imagine it has something to do with the genetic tampering), but I picked you up and had you brought back to AIIA headquarters.
Now, you would think that the story would end here, but it does not.
We knew even before you arrived at AIIA that your memory was completely gone; you had awaken on the helicopter and the look in your eyes said everything (which is good because you had forgotten how to speak).
I will never forget the look of horror on your face.
But we managed to rehabilitate you and even trained you to become one of our most valued agents. However, I had sworn to keep an eye on you after hearing Evil Lord's cryptic comments about having a use for you.
Even though I figured that your memory loss would've destroyed any programming Evil Lord did on your brain, I watched over you.
Do you remember the messages that you used to receive periodically about your past?
Do you remember the message that led you to discover the supposed "Morpheus Project"?
I am sorry to say this, but all those messages, those supposed "clues" about your past were all lies. Fabrications of truth sent by Evil Lord to lead you to do what he wanted you to do.
And that was to find the files he planted in the AIIA database and get AIIA to develop the EXLIXER (which I am sure is actually a biotoxin that would kill everyone in AIIA headquarters if we did produce it).
Again, I am sorry.
You were born and raised in Magadan, right off the coast of the Sea of Okhost. Your family was wiped out by the ELF durring their invasion and you have no surviving relatives. The ELF was very thorough durring its initial assault.
Posted 22 July 2003 - 08:10 PM
I suck at this image thing
Edited by etile, 22 July 2003 - 08:19 PM.
Posted 22 July 2003 - 08:17 PM
I live HERE?!?
A little hard to swallow, especially considering my skin complextion, but, ok then. Not much I can do about it, i guess.
Back to business, then. Please inform me on the next mission to the south. I will need an extra spork
Posted 22 July 2003 - 11:44 PM
Posted 23 July 2003 - 06:34 AM
btw, are you russian, or mexican?
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