* Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
* Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
* We don't remember dates.
* Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
* Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
* Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
* If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
* If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
* Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
* Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
* ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
* We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
* If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
* It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
* I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.
*Thank you for reading this.
*Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight but did you know we really don't mind, that it's like camping.....
wow, i read these again and they're STILL awesome.
btw, the above was a condensed version of the original. just some stuff i really liked