The Ehop And Dancing Llama Societies...
Posted 19 July 2003 - 01:32 AM
IM ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WORLD!
Posted 19 July 2003 - 06:37 AM
IM ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE WORLD!
finaly somone with half a brain. Maby theres hope that the EhOP society wont over take the world.
Posted 19 July 2003 - 06:47 AM
etile: no, not again!... they proceded to test my reactions toward various stimuli, such as a baseball bat, metal pipe, elecrticity, extreme hot and cold environments, thrown objects, pokey thingies, britney spears videos, etc. Luckily, my Britney Spears tolerance training allowed me to laugh in the face of danger. The enemy units, surprised went to a different room, in order to decide if I was finally cracking...
If I was trained against Britney Spears, then they probably OWN her. Also, I don't know how the Italian plan would work against thier lasers and harsh environment practices. It is highly probable that they trained in Iraq, before they aquired the biological weapons. You know how to defeat them... you all know. Wield the spork!!! Mwha ha ha...
I would help, but all of the drugs have me in some kind of limbo, reality has become twisted and dark... Remembering past... shadow-op brainwashing... subject 002: agent etile...
Lord: here have this!
Woah, I feel all warm and cuddly inside. On a totally seperate note, what was i talking about? I seem to have forgotten? something about washing dishes?
Posted 19 July 2003 - 04:19 PM
Posted 19 July 2003 - 06:31 PM
Please respond with your location and if you are willing/able to undertake the mission. If you would like details, access ASH file #798.
Coded message sent to research operative Slain_Of_Tomb (operative 052)
Your first assignment is optional considering the monumental risk the mission entails. One of our field agents has been captured by EHoP after being erroneously sent to the Antartic continent. Another agent is considerring the mission at this time, but AIIA cannot guarantee that he will be able to undertake it since we do not know if he is in either the Artic or the Antartic. If it is the former, then this will be a solo mission should you accept it.
Whatever decision you make, AIIA appreciates your dedication to the service of your country and looks forward to killi- er, I mean, sending you on plenty of missions.
Coded message sent to agent tzobell (operative 798)
In case you have forgotten, we have a very serious threat to deal with in the Artic and we must resolve it before AIIA can turn its full attention to the Antartic. AIIA cannot afford to fight on two fronts at the same time. We simply do not have the manpower since we are still acting without the official support of our government.
A rescue plan is currently being formulated, but we are still waiting for a volunteer to undertake it. In the meantime, AIIA would like to know any intelligence you can provide regarding the EHoP and, most importantly, the Dancing Llamas. We MUST know if the Dancing Llamas are in league with the EHoP and whether or not they pose a threat.
AIIA would rather not have to eliminate the Dancing Llamas (they are pretty funny to watch after a few beers, aren't they?), but will do so if the circumstances require. Please report with whatever information you can and we will let you know any developments regarding your rescue as soon as possible.
ASH file #798
ASH file #798 : Possible rescue of agent tzobell (operative 798)
According to the agent's report as well as satellite imaging, AIIA believes the agent's plane to have been shot down in the Antartic continent in quadrant 79T8. Heat signatures indicate that he has been taken captive and moved 5 miles due south. No information regarding the size of the ELF (EHoP Liberation Front) force has been provided.
Previous engagements with EHoP and ELF operatives indicate a serious weakness against the offensive properties of AIIA's standard issue plastic spork. Any agent undertaking this mission will be provided with an additional spork with which they can provide to the captured agent upon his rescue.
NOTICE: Any agent captured by EHoP forces is commanded to destroy his spork rather than allow it to fall into enemy hands.
Once AIIA command receives notice that an agent has volunteered for this mission, a drop plane will fly that agent to the border of quadrant 79T8 (approximately 1 mile from the crash site). The agent will move to the crash site and then proceed due south (training on how to properly use a compass will be provided) 5 miles to the enemy base.
AIIA will monitor the agent's activities but will be unable to provide any backup support.
Posted 19 July 2003 - 09:52 PM
Posted 19 July 2003 - 10:44 PM
Posted 19 July 2003 - 11:43 PM
For the time being, we must focus our attention on the EHoP only and leave Lord alone. No direct attacks will be made against him for the time being. With luck, if we manage to topple the EHoP, Lord will be crippled and his plans for global domination will be stonewalled.
On a side note, we have some positive news for you: an agent has volunteered for your rescue mission. At this very moment a plane is en route to his location to pick him and his "special" cargo up. There may also be a second volunteer for the mission if he responds in time. But this second agent is a little flaky and may provide to be more of a liability than an asset depending on which personality is in control while on this op.
However, with the campaign in the North Pole still dominating the vast majoity of AIIA's resources, we will take whatever we can get.
AIIA is a little disappointed that you have not yet been able to uncover the connection between EHoP and the Dancing Llamas, but we feel that you have done very well in spite of your current situation. Very good work and keep safe.
Coded message sent to agent Slain_Of_Tomb (operative 282)
The plane's ETA to your position is just outside 30 minutes. Please be prepared to board the plane as soon as possible.
While en route to your staging position in the Antartic, please re-familiarize yourself with your standard issue AIIA plastic spork. AIIA understands that you may be a little busy acquainting yourself with the operation of your "special equipment", but your survival may depend on your spork expertise. Make sure to be prepared for anything down there.
Godspeed, agent Slain_Of_Tomb.
Posted 20 July 2003 - 12:20 AM
Posted 20 July 2003 - 02:07 AM
Yes, I seem to remember Lord's shadow-op (codenamed the "Morpheus Elixer Project" or something...). Side effects not catolouged yet... Feel, like a tool. Luckily, hearing "Magdalena," by A Perfect Circle has slowly alleviated the project's effects. I suggest all agents having "memory problems" do this also. SOrry for not reporting, but I've been giving myself intensive therapy, and trying to find out about my past... The voices are calm now, schizophrenia seems to be another side effect. Found secret file, had to hack main database... sorry. It's serverly damaged.
[END OF RETRIEVED DATA]
Hopefully we can retrieve more data, or unscramble this mess. I also ask that I be put on the field again. Thanks to my therapy, the "instabilities" are being controlled.
Posted 20 July 2003 - 02:09 AM
As of now, subject under question, LORD, cannot be touched. He still posseses too much information about AIIA projects to be terminated.
Posted 20 July 2003 - 02:41 AM
I noticed that the peguins did a dance... The records show that this 'tuxedo dance' bears much simaliry to the movie 'grease' uh i mean, the dancing llamas... I do believe they are indeed co-insiding with one another. Also of note, a peguin slipped and smashed it sksull thus killing it, I brought it in and examined it. It seemed to have some mental link that the CIA has only began to tap... If we could find the source the peguins would be shut down... I'm sending a picture of the diobalical fiend....
Maybe we in turn should make this 'mortal god' elixer... Slain_of_tomb out
Posted 20 July 2003 - 04:42 AM
Posted 20 July 2003 - 04:46 AM
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