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#1 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:06 AM

Presenting: S.A.E.B.


Aaron's Imaginary Intelligence Agency

Evil Horde of Penjuins


The saga continues….

The world was in havoc. Powerful, reality bending forces fought over dominion of earth. AIIA was fractured, scattered. One of the most powerful agents in the history of the organization, his very name embedded into its name, was gone. A schizophrenic and a lunatic (etile and tzobell), among others, were left, to try to save the world from Willy Wonka, Evil Lord, and the destructive powers of Narnia. The world, just getting over the taming of EHoP, was barely aware of what was going on. Then, IT happened.

A god and a leader came down unto Earth, and scourged it. The nigh omnipotent Spork God, and the brave, indomitable hero Bottlecap combined their godlike powers to save the world from certain doom. Willy Wonka was no more, Evil Lord’s powers were diminished, he was now nothing. Those who knew how close to disaster we were rejoiced.

Yet, Chaos found a way to reign supreme once more. etile, who had become one of the most powerful forces alive was nearly destroyed in the upheaval. His hold on EHoP was lost, they escaped to the cold arctic regions, growing stronger and planning once more to control the world. His Omega Squadron, his most treasured soldiers, polar bears armed with spork armor and spork implants, suffered a cruel fate. Having deployed them before the arrival of the god and the hero, they were brutally slaughtered by the evil forces. If a survivor was left, no one knows about it.

The Spork God and the Bottlecap admired their work, but they wanted to know who was the better of the two. Yet they refused to fight each other in honorable combat, for they had done enough blood spilling. Instead, people began to follow, worship, and admire them. They formed bands, they acquired leaders, they gained power and weapons, and they battled over dominion of the land. Much blood was spilt.

Meanwhile, the AIIA found itself in a crisis. It’s job was to go for no side, to try to control the followers of the hero and the god, while counteracting the destructive force of EHoP, who was growing in force, and under a brave new leader. Yet, the AIIA was in a desolate state. etile had broken down, and was taken away to an institution for the mentally handicapped. Aaron, the almighty, was beginning to become a memory. Tzobell’s loyalties were suspect, since he was a disciple and follower of the spork, and therefore could not be an unbiased AIIA Agent.

Broken power, new loyalties, courageous leaders. This is where the next chapter begins…

#2 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:10 AM

1. Try to keep godmodding to a minimum, at least for the introductory pages. Let the storyline get rollin'.

2. No crazy Richard Simmons or Narnia stuff.

3. Try to skim over the first page every once in a while, just in case I make updates.

4. Remember, OOC posts are your friends. They prevent you from breaking the fourth wall. But, they are not your best friend, so don't just start making random conversations in here.

5. Try to skim through new posts at least once a day. The more often folk regularly keep updated, the less temptation or necessity of godmodding.

6. Remember, spellchecking is your friend.

7. Rules and anything else may be altered as I see fit.

Spots Taken:
This is supposed to be a place where I write down who is the leader of EHoP (I may make it so that you have to be a penguin to get this spot), a leader of the followers of the Bottlecap, or the leader ot the followers of the Spork


1/9: Added a rule.

1/5: Finally got the thing up, after hesitating and having posted it a week ago, oh yeah!

1/7: Concerning a question about godmodding
QUOTE(me in a PM)
Godmodding, in an RP, is when you control other characters, and make them do things that they didn't post. That would include acting on behalf of the Spork god, the bottle cap, or anyone else who is in the story.

Now, due to how Nuneworld is, there will probably have to be some godmodding in the future, or else things will be really slow. But for now, I think it would be best if it were kept to a minimum right now.

Oh, and you can control NPC's, like the guards, random people, ect, as long as they are directly linked to you, like if they are close by.

Ok, those who are not familiar with the first EHoP thread, either read up, or roleplay as a guy who doesn't know, and get your info that way. Basically, this is in essence a semi-literate, light-hearted RP, which allows some godmodding (I don't like it too much, but I'm trying to follow tradition here). Tradition is also why it is in the Jokes section. Also, I want to try to make this a it more serious than its predecessors. Mostly, that just means I don't want it to be as out of control. It would be great to start out with long introductory posts, just have fun writing. Since these forums are slow, the temptation to godmod will be lessened if you have a lot of reading material. So, I would like to emphasize that you have fun writing, and try to keep your posts low on spelling mistakes and such (I know I have typos, don't judge).

#3 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 06 February 2005 - 08:13 AM

Summary so far:
For those just joining us

etile and tzobell escaped out of the asylum, and had some crazy hijinx, ending with folk kidnapping tzobell. There was a large battle in Ireland, fought on one side with Rick Hard as the commander. The polar bears (Charjie and Leichad included) and etile joined in later. On the other side were SGT. Puff 'n stuff and General Truity Fruity. Charjie was assassinated, and Leichad appointed the new leader of the polar bears.. General Puff 'n Stuff got his beak blown off, but is doin' ok. The remainder of that particular penguin army captured. And a mysterious man is conversing with the Bottlecap in a secretish type guarded building....

#4 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 06 February 2005 - 10:07 AM

Cold, rainy day. The breeze had a bit of a bite in it, too. But the gentleman in the straightjacket had no clue about it. He was in a temperature-controlled environment, trying to knock down one of the walls in his room with a frantic urgency. You see, right behind him, he saw a troop of about 20 penguins, formed in a semi circle around him, slowly advancing. They had broken through the opposite wall. They had finally come for him. A few voices were chattering inside his head, chattering away like chipmunks, some laughing and graphically talking about how he would be slaughtered, others in fear, pleading for help, telling him to get on his knees and submit himself before them. Others told him to stop being so weak and just fight. He would have taken them down easily, except for the fact that they had brutally stripped him of his spork when he got into the place, laughing at him and about his 'cause.' "Heeeeelllp meeeeee!!!!!"

He cried out in a horrifed voice, eyes wide, almost not believing what he saw before him, a sight that by itself was enough to drive him insane. A sight that stopped him from trying to pummel them with his fists. They, in each feathered flipper, wieled the very same weapon he had used to vanquish and control their bretheren. They wieled the spork. How they had acquired them, and learned how to use them, he knew not, but it didn't matter. Fate, with a cruel, sick sense of humor, had concocted a devious demise. The voices reached a feverish pitch, and multiplied in number. Almost all of them were talking now, and each with its own agenda. Once again, the threw himself against the wall, and once again the sponge spikes absorbed his impact, mocking the futility of it all.

With one last shriek, he pleaded for outside help. They were now within striking distance. He thought about jumping over them, and running out from where they came in, into the sweet, clear evening, but he suddenly saw more start to crowd in through the break. The voices were now shrieking, fighting over his attention, trying to be heard, but he ignored them easily at this point. Doomed, he slid to the floor, on the point of tears. It would be all over soon. Suddenly, he heard the alarm of the asylum go off. They had finally noticed. At least he would die knowing that those men and women would know he was right, and maybe die, too. With a small smile, he submitted himself to his fate...

Meanwhile, a burly guard stood right outside of his door. At the second scream, he turned around and peeked into the room, spotting the crazed madman, the so-called 'etile,' cowering on the floor of the empty room. With an almost melancholy shake of the head, he turned back around, and wodered about what foul delusions were terrorizing his mind.

#5 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 06 February 2005 - 09:13 PM

Meanwhile, a burly guard stood right outside of his door. At the second scream, he turned around and peeked into the room, spotting the crazed madman, the so-called 'etile,' cowering on the floor of the empty room. With an almost melancholy shake of the head, he turned back around, and wodered about what foul delusions were terrorizing his mind.
"shut up" said the gard to Etile putrid face, which had by soiled by months of eating worms from the dirt inbetween the stone tiles where the worms laid.
"The evil foot" He cryed trying to explain his agony to the guard.
"If it helps you can talk about it to me." The guard did have some pitty on him, he was not a ruthless blood killing Ehop army soldier like the rest of him, he had been captured, and sold as a guard, rather then being raised up to kill like the rest of them.

"I have the strang asperation that we are all being watched. As if we are in a pond, and a great evil person who has alternative motives is stareing down on us, laphing, starreing waiting, waiting for an opertunity to snatch us and take us up into the fresh hold of his superior stregnth as if we were an neccity to his servival. While fighting off renigade penguins in the Congo, a sudden jolt hit, me. It was as if someone had opened up my mind and peaked inside to learn of something that only I could have, and then it was as if this person slowly went through all the mechanics of my brain picking them out one from an other decideing which ones were usefull and which ones were of no value. Then suddenly i noticed that everything went blank, and the face of the person whom I had pictured in my mind showed up infront of me, and silently started back me as if he had known something was going to happen that i was unawear of. Then it happened! I saw it, that strage happeneding, the inconciveable wonder that I had never in my life seen befour and will absolutly never see once more in my intire life. It was inevidable, a great and mighty wonder which would never set foot ny me once again. The great and mysteriouse foot. What I saw can not be explained, it can only be seen, but this foot was sometihng of tremendouse importance, for i knew that it would be extreamly influencal. I stared at it for a minute, then it quitely wispered back to me the words which i will never forget "i have them in the quarry" he said. My mind raced, but i soon remember that my mind had been purposly picked so that i would not understand the meaning of this inaquative phrase I soon felt my blood pressure rise, and saw the foot in the black abyss which was all around me, then alll I saw was black and the mysteriouse foot showed once again and wispered and mysteriouse wisper which i am still unclear of the meaning when he wispered the words "dog of Krops niugnep relur edroh live" I knew not the meaing of the phrase. But I had a sence of the almighy greatness of this wisper which had a profound affect on my ability to comprehend the reality which i was in. I must wonder to my self "what is this foot" I was memorized by it."

"I can see why we have you locked up eating worms." The guard was unimpressed by his story, and knew that Etile for certain needed the local shrink.

"It happened, i know it did!" While the guard thought what Eitle had experianced was some sort of LSD dream, It had actualty accured. Etile had realy seen the mysteriouse foot, which he knew not the meaning of. And he knew that because of the foots ability to pick through his brain, that it had inevidable caused him to seem "crazy" in the eyes of others.

#6 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 07 February 2005 - 06:44 AM

OOC: Ok... so I say try not to god mod too much, and what do you do? Give me a huge a** piece of godmod pie. I mean, you're not in there at all. Unless you are the guard, which I doubt, because you would have revealed yourself by now, methinks. Also, try to type a bit more slowly, so that it comes out better. Reading long posts with typos gets a bit tricksy after a while. And, a general note for everyone, you don't have to make your first appearance close to other people. In fact, you can start off in other countries. Personally, I wanted to start off in Italy, but I ended up not.

#7 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 07 February 2005 - 10:58 AM

The buzzer rang, indicating that it was time for the inmates... or 'patients,' to go to bed. The guard promptly got up, and walked over to the door, swinging it open widely and exiting with so much as a look back. Making sure that the man was gone, etile sprinted to the corner of the room, picked something up with his teeth, then ran towards the door. Seeing it about to close, he got close the the doorframe, spat, and just barely managed to jam the large clod of dirt he had into the doorframe, right where the latchbolt was supposed to go. Because of this, after the door slammed shut, it was not locked. He gave a sigh of relief, and the voices chattered excitedly. It had taken him months of scratching between tiles in order to acquire that small clod. Eating the occasional worm was merely a tasty bonus.

After a few minutes of laying there on the floor, he slowly got up. Suppressing all thoughts, he tried to keep his mind on the task at hand. Letting out al of his breath, he lifts up his hands, struggling with the straitjacket, almost fainting from lack of oxygen before freeing himself. "Thank you, Harry, for those tips on getting out of things like this.."

He opens the door slowly, and creeps out. Having gotten a fairly good idea of the layout of the place, he makes his way out, avoiding the security cameras, and going to the asylum yard. He climbs up a large tree that is relatively close to the wall. He goes on a branch and walks to its edge, about to jump, hopefully to clear the wall and leave the place. He notices that the jump was a bit longer than he thought, and that there is a bit of barbed wire on top of the wall. With a grimace, he holds the jacket in front of him and jumps, landing on the wall on his stomach. The barbed wire tears though the jacket, and scratches him, although not terribly. "Ouchies." He then rolls off the wall, using the jacket as a rope. After hanging for a bit, the jacket tears, and he falls to the floor. "Ugh..."

Although he knows that the folk at the asylum won't know about his escapade until morning he runs off, limping ever so slightly from the fall.

#8 Rick Hard

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Posted 07 February 2005 - 12:56 PM

Alright, i have read up on the Ehop threas a bit, and i'm damned if i'm gonna read the whole thing. It's 16 pages long with all post being as long as the one you posted there.!!. I feel i'v read a suffieient ammount to have a stab at this.


Meanwhile on the other side of the Ehop occupied Atlantic ocean, the war with the peuguins and ELF continues. Several AIIA operative have engaged the enemy invasion force at Ahasgraw in the west of Ireland. At this time a researcher/AIIA operative codenamed Rick Hard is hard at work developing the defensive caoabilities of the soprk at the AIIA european head quarters at Nobber Co. Meath. Little does he know that the AiiA operative who confronted the enemy at Ahasgraw had to retread and now the invasion force is heading direstly to the HQ.

Two hours after the retreat the AIIA operatives arrive at nobber to inform the HQ of the situation. Immediatly a plan, so daring and bold, yet simple is formulated. "under no circumstance can the new protype spork fall into the eneny hands, if this happens, all is lost for there shall be no way to defeat the penguin horde" orders Rick. " We must protect the spork at all costs". Suddenly a random person bursts into the war room and shouts "they're here, we're all gonna die!!!". Its too late for retreat. The valliant AIIA operative must now stand and fight for their lives, nay the world!!.

"Alright everyone, man you sporks and prepare yourselves for the onslaught." commands Rick. "here they come". All looked well as the brave operatives and researchers fight side by side for the fate fo the world. Give the AIIA's good defensive position, they fended off the horde. Cheers of delight errupted from within the AIIA complex. But this victory was unlasting. The ground shock with the sound of 10 earthquakes. Books fell of shelves, sporks nearly jumping out of hands. "what is that" inquired an officer. All the operative looked across the green hills of Nobber. Look!!!. Gasps of fear eminated from the officers of the HQ as they looked to see the main force of the Evil Horde of Penguins coming over the hill. A force to rival that of the ancient Roman legions. "There are too many to count!!!". IT now dawned upon the operatives that the first thrust was a scout to locate the HQ. A new plan had to be formulated...and fast!!

Alright, i donno if this is alright or what, but if its not, well just gizzer a shout. Oh and those place i mentioned are real.

#9 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 12:27 AM

OOC: Woah, bad timing. Tzobell, do you want to do your post, or mine?

#10 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 12:32 AM

uh, i dont know if my post is "godmoding" or not, I pmed it to you, so you tell me.

#11 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 01:19 AM

OOC: Ok, I'm just going to put pu the post I had originally put up

Frazzled, he walked through the city, looking exactly like a madman who had just escaped from the asylum. Ignoring the odd looks he got from the few people around at 1 in the morning, he walked on, trying to stay focused, to calm himself down and assume a dignified air. He saw the headlines of newspapers. The tabloids talked about a penguin-induced apocolypse, proclaimed either the way of the Spork or the Bottlecap as the way to salvation. They talked about another, equally mysterious force that was keeping the penguins at bay, saying that they were fueled by the prayer to either the god or the hero, depending on witch tabloid you read. The Times and the other, more respectable papers simply cited that a large, yet obscure militaristic force was ravaging the world on multiple fronts, attacking apparently without rhyme or reason. Also, that a tactical team, unidentified but possibly a secret U.N. force, could be seen leading the retaliation at times. etile chuckled, as this seemed quite humourous. He slept for a few hours next to a wall, to await the sunrise. Once it arose, he proceeded to go to a bank, to pull out a few things out of a safety deposit box that he had there. "I need some stuff.."

#12 Guest_tzobell_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 04:35 AM

tzobell walked along the marshy grasland outside the prision walls. He had just escaped with his life by picking the lock on his prision cell with a spork he had made from a peice of stone tile he had broken off from one of the tiles in his cell. It took him nearly a year to complete it, being that he literaly had to naw at the stone with his teeth inable to carve it into the spork which he did desire ever so much. He marveled at its greatness and worshiped it his passing houres praying to the spork god for a way out of the missery which he was encompassed in. But that night he had finaly gotton the progns on the spork just sharp enough that he could use them to pick the lock. He worked steadfastly for houres on end, trying to understand the mechanics of the lock. He had not had much experiance picking locks, and although his home made spork was a good tool to pick it with, thier were still many superior tools that could have easily picked the lock in a matter of minutes. But this did not matter, tzobell had to either pick the lock or remain in the prison cell until his dead lifeless flesh would be infested with maggots and reek throughout the prison. He could not sucum to this fate, he had seen it happen, many of the inmates in the pirson would starve to death, or commit suiside, or would simply lie asleep to long while the cock roaches ate at them little by little everynight until they bled to death. The lock was picked, this was his moment. For a mintute he stood stareing at what he had achomplished. He had dreamed of this moment that it almost seemed a dream, he had infact dreamed it many times over in his sleep, and now that he had finaly acomplished it seem all too real. He pinched him slef to asure him that this was real. For a moment he was scared to step foot outside of the cell. It had been his home for quite sometime now. Eversence willy wonka and El had been defeated, Ehop was free from their cluches which had been ruled by numerouse people. First El stole the peacefull loveing penguins from Narnia and fed them Llmama milk which had adverse affects on them which cause to be blood craveing creature. He attempted to take over the world with them, but he was defeated and Ehop was put into the custody of Etile, but Willy wonka then stole them away, and now they were free to roam after he too had been defeated. Which brings me back to how tzobell got into the prision. Well you see being that tzobell was the top authority in Sporkism, and the worshiping of the spork, they sought to take him to greaten their stronghold on whatever land they could get. But now tzobell stood their reflecting this in his mind as he look down at the crack that divided the prision cell from the hall way which had not been able to cross in over a year. He brought his foot up and placed it on the other side of the crack. He thought long and hard about this moment hopeing to ingrain it into the memory of his mind that he would never forget it and always cherish it. Then it happened, everyting around him went black and all he saw was him self. A strange mysteriouse foot appeared unto him and sort of nuged him out of the cell, even though he could not see it, he still had a mental immage of where everything was being that it had been the only thing he had seen in such a long time. But the foot was thier behind him, a hairy nasty looking foot which seemed to want to have the cell for him self. But then foot rush towards him and right at the moment that tzobell expected to have a pain full push from the foot, it seemed to go right into his stomach, crawl down his leg and occupy his right foot. The right foot imediatly begun to take contol, tzobell could now see his surroundings, but he had the inability to controle the movements of his foot which was infested. His foot moved irradically down the hallway, he worked quickly with his other foot to keep up with his right. The foot somehow knew where it was going. Tzobell moved his left foot as fast as he could while he clenched his stone spork in this hand, prepareing to use it against any guards he might come across. The foot came to some stairs and preceded down wards. Tzobell lost his train of thought when he saw the view and the moonlight outside of one of the prision window, he missed the moonlight dearly. But then he forgot to move his left foot along side with his right and now his infested right foot was dragging him down the stairs on his back. It wasnt too bad, tzobell had quite a callost back from sleeping on stone floors for so long, but it was still the least bit uncomfortable. He, and his mysteriouse right foot, finally reached the end of the stairs where there was a door leading outside. The foot waited for tzobell to pick him self up and open the door. He did so, and the foot which had occupied his right foot left. He was on his own, he ran. And while running he hid behind a tree. He ran somemore, he finaly came to the local city, he looked back at the prison while running when he hit face first into Etile.

#13 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 09:30 AM

OOC: *stares at the huge block of text* Woah...

It was now early morning, and etile was still the same ragged, mentally unstable creature he was a few hours ago, except for the smile that he wore on his face. The box's contents had delighted him greatly, as now he could plan his return to the organization. He mused about his next move, when suddenly someone ran into him, head on. "Ow, crap!! Watch where you're going you..." He staggered back from the impact as he said this, and stopped in midsentence as he saw who had run into him. He stared for a long moment and the other man, as ragged as he, with a smile. "Damn, I was just about to cuss you out, man, watch were your going." He looked at him once again, and chuckled. "We both look like hell, let's get some clothes, man." And with this, he began to walk to the nearest store that had Versace suits.

#14 theonesephiroth


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Posted 08 February 2005 - 03:52 PM

ooc: can i be evil and lead ehop??????

#15 Guest_etile_*

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 11:01 PM

OOC: You can be the Lord General (or whatever title you prefer). Second in command to only 1 great, mysterious penguin. (So yeah, you pretty much do all of the fun stuff)

Making their way into the finest store they could find, etile ambled about, inspecting the suits, his tattered straitjacket bundled up in his left arm. I woman who worked their looked at the two men, ragged and dirty beyond belief, with almost crazed expressions on their faces. She walked up to etile, since he was the one most intently perusing through the suits.

"Sir, sir.. please don't touch, your hands are grimy... everything is grimy!" She touched his sleeves hesitantly, with two fingers, trying to pull his arm away.

In response, he turned to her, and said quite frankly, "Well, lady, I just escaped an insane asylum. The fellows over there don't keep us too clean, and the escape itself got me a little.. unpresentable." He looked around the multistory store. "And where's a guy supposed to get a shower here, anyways?"

The woman smiled a bit, proud that she knew one of the stores little secrets. "Well," she said, pompously. "the owner did have a shower built on the third floor bathrooms, for his personal enjoyment.." She then instantly covered her mouth, realizing that that was not the best thing to say to a madman.

etile smiled, and made his way to the stairs, which were next to the counter. The woman rushed over to the counter herself. Figuring that she was about to call the police, he lightly tossed the tattered straitjacket onto the counter. The lump of dirty, torn cloth unraveled, and revealed a larm sum of money, the first thing etile had gotten out of his safety deposit box. The women, phone in hand, could only stare at the money.

A few minutes later, etile started to walk back downstairs, fully dressed in an outfit that had appealed to him on the third floor. The suit was a Versace, the outercoat and pants being a dark purple, while the silk shirt underneath was a deep burgundy, and at his cuffs were gold links. In each hand, he held a titanium gold Desert Eagle .50AE pistol, with the tiger stripes. These were one of the other items in the box. He smiled and tucked both of them snugly against the small of his back, and continued to walk down the stairs, looking around for tzobell.

[edit: pics to help visualize]
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