[trigunkilla]

my grandad has a shirt that says that. i love it.
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing. shes already been told twice.

[Eraserhead]

my grandad has a shirt that says that. i love it.
what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing. shes already been told twice.

That was funny AND poignant!

[trigunkilla]

thank you.
im pregnant with an elephant. and i think hes coming out.... wanna see his trunk?

[alexisj]

LOL..

That was really one funny joke!
Luckily my mom's not that fat...

Here: I've got one too..
Hope you all guys gonna read mine..

Lawyer Joke
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

[chrishorton]

A door-to-door salesman strolls up to a house to make a sale. A 7 year old girl smoking a cigarette and holding a bottle of wine answers the door. The salesman stunned asks" Are you parents around?" The little girl replies "What the !@#$ do you think?"

[ubuntuideas]

hey ben check this one out it rocks

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"



that one rules

The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”