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Sara's Poetry and other stuff


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#1 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 08 April 2004 - 03:06 PM

I want you guys to tell me what you think about this poem..((i have already posted this one...i think blink.gif ))

The clouds pass slowly
as if mourning a death
the sky is a perplexing gray
making the trees look like specters
the sun shines down
casting bewildering shadows
a harsh wind blows
making flowers bow their heads
i lay silent
as if in a trance
a tear sheds slowly
and falls to its death
i can't handle the truth
i would rather die instead
i could just ignore the world
noone would really care
you can still be alive
you can still be mine
just for awhile
then i will return
to the life i once loved to live
to life that was suddenly thrown away
but i am trapped
between my dreams and reality
i would rather dwell inside my head
alone, with only you and I
but in reality
you could call me crazy
for I still see you here

#2 Staind_spike

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Posted 08 April 2004 - 06:41 PM

Whoa that is really cool, i am a singer/song writer for my band and your poem is totally cool you should write some songs

#3 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 08 April 2004 - 06:46 PM

have a song already...Could post it if you like blink.gif

#4 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 08 April 2004 - 07:11 PM

here is another poem i wrote...

i lay awake
my tears fall softly
as questions race through my head
where are you?
and why did you leave?
Why couldn't you believe me?
and why do i care?
I know i told you alot of lies
and i know i really loved you
I held your hand for soo long
why did I let go?
You used to make me soo happy
why did I push you away?
I don't know whats wrong with me
and I probably never will
but If I could take it back
you would without hast
you were my only friend
and i left you were we once stood
I hold they locket you gave me
as if it were my only possesion
maybe if i wish
you will come back
and i can set you free

#5 Cuddle Muffin

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Posted 09 April 2004 - 01:25 AM

Whoa. Both of your poems are awesome. I can't create good poems, so can you give me some tips?

#6 fluffygreenaliens

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Posted 09 April 2004 - 04:21 AM

wow. . there both really good.. your a good writer can't wait to see more 4.gif keep writing

#7 JasonxNothing

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Posted 09 April 2004 - 07:10 AM

QUOTE(Cuddle Muffin @ Apr 9 2004, 01:25 AM)
Whoa. Both of your poems are awesome. I can't create good poems, so can you give me some tips?

The key to writing well, is not worrying about if it fits with the poem, or if it sounds cool. Write because it's your emotion bleeding through the pen.

#8 fluffygreenaliens

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Posted 09 April 2004 - 02:51 PM

i'll go with what drew said... i guess with writing poems you just write what you feel.. let the words come from you heart.. with poems you don't have to rhyme either so that helps sometimes... you could write about real life experiances... blink.gif

#9 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 09 April 2004 - 03:21 PM

thanx guys 4.gif ....i wrote these poems not to long ago....drew your right yes.gif

#10 JasonxNothing

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Posted 14 April 2004 - 02:23 AM

QUOTE(evanfan1117 @ Apr 9 2004, 03:21 PM)
thanx guys 4.gif ....i wrote these poems not to long ago....drew your right yes.gif

I'm always right. Ok, maybe not, but still ...heh, I was right this time.

#11 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 14 April 2004 - 09:51 PM

lmao...yes you are right

#12 JasonxNothing

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Posted 14 April 2004 - 10:08 PM

QUOTE(evanfan1117 @ Apr 14 2004, 09:51 PM)
lmao...yes you are right

I just posted one of my poems in this forum, not this thread, though. You guys should check it out, it's called "Traitor" (that's what I made for it so far).

#13 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 14 April 2004 - 10:24 PM

k...i will..

#14 fluffygreenaliens

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 06:10 AM

what happened to the poem you were writing the other day/night? hmm havn't you gotten around to posting it yet? i'd like to see it.... i know it'll be good cause you wrote it

#15 Guest_evanfan1117_*

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Posted 15 April 2004 - 02:37 PM

aww...thanx fluffy...i will have to type it up...haven't gotten around to it yet..




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